We just wanted to share how we’ve managed to deal with everything over these past five years.
Our son Christian has been diagnosed four times with PPB cancer. During that time, we also lost my husband’s grandmother, my dad, my mom, and our dog Maximus. The emotions that come with all of this are impossible to describe — it’s so much deeper than words. Anyone who has walked this path understands. It changes you completely. You see life differently.
Things like the St. Jude commercials used to make us sad; now they hit differently — they break your heart in a new way because they hit so close to home.
We lean on each other and stay strong for our son and our family. It helps that Christian himself is incredibly strong — truly our real-life superhero. Everything he’s been through, and he still smiles. He laughs. He makes us laugh. He’s the light of our lives.
We try to keep life as normal as possible for him and talk only in positivity. We don’t want him to see fear in us. There are a lot of nights filled with tears once he’s asleep. We check on him constantly, watching his breathing, holding onto every peaceful moment. Sleep doesn’t come easy anymore.
People sometimes say, “It’s just scans — everything will be fine. You have to stay positive.” We know they mean well, but it’s easier said than done. After watching your child be put to sleep for every scan, every procedure, every surgery — positivity becomes something you fight for every day.
Faith helps, even when it’s hard to hold onto. There have been times we’ve lost it, then found it again because of Christian’s strength. He keeps us going. He gives us hope.
When your child has cancer, life becomes a roller coaster. One moment you’re terrified, the next you’re angry, and then you’re thankful beyond words when they make it through another surgery stronger than before. Giving up is not an option. We would move across the world if that’s what it took to save him.
Our daughter has her own way of coping — she listens to music, draws, cuddles with our dog, and talks to a therapist. Those things help her process everything.
Every time we hear the words “the cancer is back,” it feels like reliving the nightmare all over again. It takes a toll — mentally, physically, emotionally. You feel it in your chest, your mind, your body.
We’ve learned to remove negativity from our lives, even when it’s hard. Staying positive and surrounding ourselves with love makes a huge difference. We’ve even picked up little things along the way — like if you press your tongue to the roof of your mouth, sometimes it helps stop the tears (though not always).
Talking about everything is hard. Sometimes you can’t do it without crying, and that’s okay. Always try to think positive, even if deep down you’re scared. Faith and hope are what carry us through now.
After losing so much — and watching our son face this battle four times — we’ve learned that his strength gives us strength. He truly inspires us every single day.
If we could give one piece of advice to other parents: don’t be afraid to research on your own. You might find something your doctors haven’t mentioned yet, a new test or treatment worth asking about. Always keep fighting, keep learning, and keep hope alive.
Christian's PPB Cancer Journey 